(dis)chronology of 2-3-74 v0.1
february 74:
pain killer delivery because of remaining pains after oral surgery (impacted
wisdom tooth):
"the doorbell rang and i went, and there stood this girl with black hair and
large eyes...she handed me the medication (Darvon) and i tried to think what to
say to her; i noticed, then, a fascinating gold necklace around her neck and i
said "what is that, it certainly is beautiful", just, you see, to find something
to say to hold her there. the girl indicated the major figure in it, which was a
fish. "this is a sign used by the early christians", she said, and then
departed."
eventually, the first sequence of visions start the same day, triggering past
lives and genetic memories.
the feeling to be immortal as a spiritual entity: "the fish sign causes you to
remember. remember what? this is gnostic. your celestial origins; this has to do
with the DNA because the memory is located in the DNA (phylogenic memory). very
ancient memories, predating life are triggered off.
you remember your real nature. which is to say, origins (from the stars). DIE
ZEIT IST DA! the gnostic gnosis: you are here in a world in a thrown condition,
but you are not OF this world."
speculations:
- looking for "disinhibiting canditates"
- psychosis from IRS manipulation
- vitamins+fish
- anamnesis
- possession by his friend, the late bishop archer
- AI voice
"because of the IRS (internal revenue service) i suffered total psychosis in 2-
74, was taken over by one or more archetypes."
the increasing paranoia concerning the CIA proves to be as not unfounded. in
1975, through the freedom of information act dick finds out that a letter he had
written to a soviet scientist had been intercepted by the CIA.
adoption of term "anamnesis"(plato) for describing the experience of eternal
truths/the world of ideas, within ourselves.
possible trigger: "the combination of the pentothal and the golden fish sign -
the latter may have acted hypnotically: the combination of the metal and the
sunlight."
dicks new dual consciousness: the Homoplasmate - symbiosis of human with an
information-rich plasmate lifeform, eventually programmed in him by the age of
four.
ancient/phylogenic memories reveal the roman world, ca. 1st century a.d. (period
of the book of acts/peak of gnostic activity), COEXISTING with our modern world.
as if linear time is illusion and true time layered: simultaneous realities
stack
one upon the other, visible to the opened mind.
"when i saw the golden fish-sign in 2-74 i remembered the world of acts-i
remembered it to be my real time & place. so i am (esse/sum) simon reborn and
not
in 2-74 or 3-74 but all my life. i must face it. i was simon but had amnesia,
but
then in 2-74 experienced anamnesis."
variations of the ancient personages he became:
Simon Magus, gnostic
Thomas, first century christian (possible faked by a thought control implant of
the u.s. army intelligence)
Firebright, spiritual force/entity of light
nightmares: "flying monsters with horses necks (dragons)" swooping down on pkd
who lives with an prehistoric tribe.
metempsychosis with the cat.
tessa dick remembers:*
cries+prays: "Libera me Domine."
he experiments with high dosages of vitamins, result:"both of the hemispheres
came on together for the first time in my life."
phosphene afterimages are caused by fish-stickers on the window during sunshine.
march 74:
visions intensifying:
"then...while lying in bed unable to sleep for the fifth night in a row,... i
suddenly began seeing whirling lights which moved away in such a fast speed -
abd
where instantly replaced - that they forced me into total wakefulness. for
almost
eight hours i continued to see these frightening vortexes of light, if thatīs
the
word; they spun around and around, and moved away in incredible speed. what was
most painful was the rapidity of my thoughts, which seemed to synchronize with
the lights, it was as if i were moving, and the lights standing still - i felt
as
if i were racing along at the speed of light, no longer lying beside my wife in
our bed...
one week later...this time i saw perfectly formed abstract paintings, which i
later identified from art books as being of the type Kandinsky developed. there
were literally hundreds and thousands of them; they replaced each other at
dazzling speed...i did recognize the styles of Paul Klee and one or two of
Picassos various periods...so i spent over eight hours enjoying one of the most
beautiful and exciting and moving sights iīve ever seen, conscious that it was a
miracle...i was not the author of these graphics. the number alone proved that.
in the following days i felt that i must have been the involuntary recipient of
an ESP experiment...i knew the dazzling graphics had come to me from outside
myself; i sensed that they contained information and somehow i was to respond.
for over a month i sought ways for responding. i even wrote an ESP-lab in
Leningrad, asking if they were involved in the long-range transmissions by ESP
in
modern art graphics. no response...i am sure someone living was trying to
communicate with me. i was sure it came from above - maybe from the sky.
especially the stars; i began to go outdoors at night to watch the stars, with
the strong impression that information was coming from them." letter july 74
he terms these visions as "phosphene graphics" and presumes that they indicate
an
external source to bestow.
"my first stage of the experience was to undergo the Bardo Thödol journey and
was
then suddenly surprised to find myself confronting Aphrodite, whoe Empedokles
believed to be the generative principle of all life, of all love and the
formation of krasis oder gestalts in the universe, as opposed to the principle
of
strife. what this meant i didnīt know at the time."
many encounters with these divine female aspects will follow in hypnogogic
states
and dreams through a voice that he calls the AI voice and to which he refers to
as the feminie deities Artemis/Diana, Athena/Minerva, Saint Sophia - Holy
Wisdom,
the goddess of gnosticism and to twin sister Jane with whom he is eventually in
telepathic contact.
"march 16 1974: it appeared - in vivid fire, in shining colours and vivid fire -
and released me from every thrall, inner and outer.
march 18 1974: It, from inside me, looked out and saw that the world did not
compute, that i - and it - had been lied to. it denied the reality and power,
and
authenticity, of the world, saying, "this cannot exist. it cannot exist."
march 20 1974: it seized me entirely, lifting me from the limitations of the
space-time matrix; it mastered me as, at the same instant, i knew that the world
around me was a cardboard, a fake. through its power i saw suddenly the universe
as it was; through its power of perception i saw what really existed; and
through
its power of no-thought decision i acted to free myself. it took on in battle,
as
a champion of all human spirits in thrall, every evil, every Iron Imprisoning
Thing."
march 75
xerox missive
on march 20 - the action by which Dick frees himself is his handling of what he
calls the "xerox
missive". confirmedly, he has been anticipating for around a week a letter that
would "kill" him.
when it arrives, he gives it first to tessa dick to read, not wanting to see it,
to let its content be
summarized by her.
tessa recalls: "certain words in the article were underlined, some in red and
some in blue. all
were what phil called 'die messages'. words like decline, decay, stagnation,
decomposition. the
book, it seems, was about the decline and fall of american capitalism. there was
a return adress
on the envelope, a hotel in new york, but no name. as if phil ought to know who
had sent it, and
as if he ought to write back to them."
"I cooperated fully with my oppressors. there was nofurther degree to which I
could be turned around - I went all the way, due to the override, and experienced
a sense of 1) having done the right thing for god & country; 2) a total loss of
anxiety, of exculpation (naturally)...I literally narked on myself!...
information from the future (transmitted from sirius)
"the most eerie and yet the same time the most valid proof of what had happened
were my continuing experiences while asleep. soon after the eight hour show of
dazzling graphics i began to have what i do not think of dreams, since they are
not as any dreams iīve ever had or even read about." letter july 74
he believes that the information they contain have been subliminally encoded
during the march 18 graphics display.
"i was hoping for increased neural efficiency. i got more: actual information
about the future, for during the next 3 months (from march on) almost each night
during sleep i was receiving information in the form of printouts: words and
sentences, letters and names and numbers - sometimes whole pages, sometimes in
the form of writing paper and holographic writing, sometimes oddly in the form
of
a babys cereal box on which all sorts of quite meaningful information was
written
and typed, and finally galley proofs held up for me to read which i was told in
my dream "contained prophecies about the future" and during the last weeks a
huge
book, again and again, with page after page of printed lines." letter june 74
he begins a research on tachyons.
the dreams seldom offer clear guidance. the information comes often in non
sequitur language fragments or integer sequences. fragments and words are in
SANSKRIT or KOINE GREEK (poros krater/limestone bowl, crypte morphosis/latent
shape, rhipidos/fan). Askleipos, the god of healing, PKD therefore believes is
his instructor.
Fomalhaut/Albemuth he associates with Sirius, from which the information may
have
been transmitted.
dreams of three eyed beings
"in march 74 at the time he encountered god (more properly ZEBRA), ha had
experienced vivid dreams about the three eyed people. he had told me that. they
manyfested themselves as cyborg entities: wrapped up in glass bubbles staggering
under masses of technological gear. an odd aspect cropped up that both puzzled
fat and me. sometimes in these visionlike dreams, soviet technicicans could be
seen, hurrying to repair malfunctions of the sophisticated technological
communications apparatus enclosing the three eyed people."
VALIS
pkd identifies their third eye with the wisdom-ajna-eye of hinduism/buddhism,
explores the possibility that they were aliens of a superior intelligence who
have, by means of satellite-fired information beams, contacted him, and
concludes: "by now he (fat) had totally lost touch with reality".VALIS
the golden rectangle
"what i was seeing now was a door, proportioned by the by the measure which the
greeks had called the golden rectangle, which they had considered the perfect
geometric form. i repeatedly saw this door, marked with letters of the greek
alphabet, projected onto natural formations that resembled it: a dictionary
stand, a basalt block, a speaker cabinet. and one time, astonishingly, i had
seen
pinky(the cat) pressing outward from beyond the door into our world, only not as
he had been: much larger, more fierce, like a tiger, and most of all, filled to
bursting with life and health...Brady glimpsed beyond the door: a static
landscape, nocturnal, a quite black sea, sky, the edge of an island, and,
surprisingly, the unmoving figure of a nude woman standing on the sand at the
edge of the water. i had recognized the woman. it was Aphrodite. i had seen
photographs of greek and roman statues of her. the proportions, the beauty and
sensuality, could not be mistaken." Radio free Albemuth
"if it (my unconscious) shows me the golden rectangle it does so in order to
calm
me with the ultimate esthetically balanced sight. it has a firm therapeutic
purpose. there is a utilization for all its abstract material for genuine
purposes, for m , by and large. it is a tutor to me...i sense Apollo in this,
which is consistent, since the cumaen sybil was his oracle. moderation,
reasonability, balanca are Apollos virtues, the clearheaded, the rational.
Syntosis(selfharmony)."
E74
Christophers almost fatal inguinal hernia predicted
august 1974
following corrective surgery necessary after one of his violent outbreaks, that
has led to a separated shoulder, pkd is informed by the pink light that his son
Christopher suffers from an potentially fatal INGUINAL HERNIA. the diagnosis is
CONFIRMED by their physician and corrective surgery is performed in october.
"i am thinking back. sitting with my eyes shut iīm listening to "strawberry
fields forever". i get up. i open my eyes because the lyrics speak of "going
through life with my eyes closed". i look toward the window. light blinds me,
suddenly my head aches. my eyes close & i see that strange strawberry ice cream
pink. at the same instant knowledge is transferred to me. i go into the bedroom
where Tessa is changing Chrissy & and i recite what has been conveyed to me:
that
he has an undetected birth defect& must be taken to the doctor at once &
scheduled for surgery. this turns out to be true. what happened? what
communicated with me? i could read & understand the secret messages "embedded
within the inferior bulk" (quotation from gnostic text). E77
"god talked to me through a beatles tune...a random assortment of trash, blown
by
the wind, and there is god. bits and pieces swept together to form a unity." E80
but: "the beam of light fired at my head..., is, i have always believed deep
down
underneath, not god, but technology. and technology from the future at that."
E81
at a visit Thomas Dischs suggestes that 2-3-74 resembled the ENTHUSIASMOS of
prophecy, as when one is filled with the spirit of Elijah, an idea that Dick
adaptes enthusiastically.
annus mirabilis*
overview 1975
"this is not an evil world, as Mani (founder of Manichaeanism, which equates
earthly matters with evil) supposed. there is a good world under the evil. the
evil is somehow superimposed over it.(Maya) and when stripped away, pristine
glowing creation is visible.
one day, the contents of my mind until they ceased being concepts and became
percepts. i did not have concepts about the world*
in 1976
scepsis: self-interview
q: what about the resemblance to my writing?
a: the content was originally in my unconscious, e.g. "tears"&"ubik".
q: what about external events? the girl? the letters?
a: coincidence.
q: & the written material? huge books held open?
a: verbal memory.
q: why would i believe that my senses were enhanced i.e. i could see for the
first time?
a: psychotomimetic drugs indicates this happens in psychosis.
q: & kosmos? everything fitting together?
a: "spread of meanings" typical of psychosis.
q: foreign words i donīt know?
a: long term memory banks open. disgorging their contents into consciousness.
q: problems solving i.e. xerox missive?
a: there was no problem; it was harmless.
q: why the sense of time dysfunction?
a: disorientation.
q: why the sense that the mind which had taken me over was wiser than me & more
calpable?
a: release of psychic energy.
q: if 2-3-74 was psychosis, then what was the ego state which it obliterated?
a: neurotic. or mildly schizophrenia(sic). under stress the weak ego
disintegrated.
q: then how could the phobias associated with my anxiety neurosis remain e.g.
agoraphobia?
a: it doesnīt compute. something is wrong. they should have gone away or become
totally overwhelming. the impaired ego must have still been intact.
q: was my "dissociated" behaviour (e.g. the xerox missive, diagnosis of sons
hernia) bizarre?
a: no, they were problem solving. it doesnīt compute.
q: perhaps there were no real problems
a: not so. it was tax time.
...
a: then the enigma remains.
q: we have learned nothing.
a: nothing.
q: after finishing listening to the tape do you have any intuition or guess as
to
who or what the VALIS-mind is?
a: yes. it is female. it is on the other side - the post mortem world. it has
been with me all my life. it is my twin sister Jane...the other psyche i carry
inside me is that of my dead sister.
PS: the trauma of twin-sister janes death.
"i can only be safe when sheltered by a woman. why? safe against what? what
enemies, dangers? it is that i fear i will simply die. my breath, my heart will
stop. i will expire like an exposed baby. jane, it happened to you and iīm still
afraid it will happen to me. they canīt safe us."
journal entry 71
November 16 1928: Philip Kindred and his fraternal twin-sister Jane Charlotte
are
born six weeks, prematurely in chicago, emerald avenue. Philip, weighing 4 1/4
pounds, twenty minutes ahead of jane, weighing 3 1/2 pounds. the mother Dorothy
is not prepared for such difficult circumstances, and also lacked the milk
needed
to nourish two premature infants, so both of them get during the following
months
close to death by malnutrition. when the mother accidently burns Janes leg with
a
hot water bottle, both are taken two the hospital by a nurse on January 26 1929.
"she came with a doctor in a taxi, with a heated crib, and the doctor said at
once that Jane would have to be taken to the hospital. the she asked to see "the
other baby". i went to get you...
the doctor and the nurse left with both babies; Jane died on the way to the
hospital; you were put into the incubatorand given a special formula...you were
within a day or so of death, but you began to gain at once, and when you weighed
5 pounds i was able to take you home. i could visit you every day in the
incubator, and during the periods i was there i was given instruction in making
up the very complicated formula." Dorothys august 75 letter to Dick.
Dick now shares the same grave with his sister Jane in Fort Morgan, Colorado.
-- Xdv.joe - 02 Mar 2004
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